Porrdige – a History of the World – Part 1

From  The  Heavenly Nothing came a big bang into which was born the uinverse. Gas and fire formed land and sea which gave birth to slimes and  amoeba who breathed in  carbon dioxides and out  oxygens in a balance that was just right – as Goldliocks several thousand years later was to say. Ameobas became  monkeys which became humanoids who ate  slimes from the rivers, adding  eggs from birds nests that they raided, and little fish which they trained birds to catch from the rivers and bring up to their tree-houses.

In the porridge pot of the universe, Africa was cooking hotter than the  coooler circumferance of Pangea. Apelike humans sitting in trees watching birds eat seeds  from  the very first flowers experienced a  shift in conciousness  deciding that it was time to broaden their experience. Touching  earth with their opposable thumbs the sought  refuge in caves where one could light a decent fire without burning ones home down.

Millenia passed, ice melted, Africa got hotter and cave women got bored of  not cooking.  One morning , OG the cavemans wife changed her husband Neviile’s breakfast from raw bison to raw bison sprinkled with some seeds that she’d  cooked  in a small rockpoool of water with the power of  the hot tropical sun. He praised her but said that it would be nicer if they were a little softer. Work on it dear he said as he lifted up his club and tramped off into the savannah to club them both some dinner.

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